Silly Cow – audition information


Silly Cow is a slick, razor-tongued satire on the viciousness of tabloid journalism with an ingeniously dramatic dénouement. Doris Wallace has everything a tough tabloid columnist could want: a toy boy, a pretty personal assistant, and the prospect of her own television show. She is a newspaper columnist and reviewer with a talent for caustic insults and career assassination.

Being sued by the actress Trudi Hobson, after writing an article which savaged the respected thespian with accusations of small talent and large thighs is a petty annoyance, but Doris puts her in her place by revealing her ample cleavage as she flirts with the judge and spouts populist bravado. She is ready to celebrate her victory in court when things begin to go wrong: television materials are missing, a pal she double crossed wants revenge, her accountant is about to pull a fast one and those she has defamed dish out the kind of humiliation she inflicts on others. Doris is about to discover that even journalists can’t escape reaping what they have sown, and that there’s nothing quite as dramatic as an actress’s revenge.

Important dates

Show dates: 12th-17th September 2016

Read through: 26th April at 7.30pm

Auditions: 28th April at 7.30pm

Rehearsal nights: Tuesdays and Thursdays (to be confirmed)


Doris is a hard-nosed, bitchy TV columnist who delights in pulling down everyone she reviews. She treats all those around her with witty contempt. This is a great character role for an actress to play as Doris is a ‘no holds barred’ kind of woman. There is literally nowhere that she will not go! A great sense of comic timing is needed.

PEGGY – Personal Assistant to Doris
Peggy is Personal Assistant to the bitchy TV columnist Doris Wallace. She bears the brunt of Doris’s acidic humour with dignity. However, she has a hidden agenda and is about to get her own back on Doris. Great role for a character actress who can play mousey and transform to glamorous.

EDUARDO – Toy boy to Doris
Eduardo is the toy boy to Doris. He spends most of his time stoned and is a bit of a waste of space. However, he has a hidden agenda… This is a fun role to play and a good sense of comic timing is needed

SIDNEY – A sleazy editor
Sidney is the sleazy editor who Doris has promised to work for but she has no intention of honouring that promise. This is a great fun role to play and the type of character that appals the audience with his political incorrectness while still making them howl with laughter

DOUGLAS – Accountant to Doris
Douglas is the long suffering accountant to the acidic Doris. He is trying desperately to keep her business in order and gets no thanks at all from her for his efforts. A fun role to play and this is a character that will have the audience on his side.

Production team

Director – Lester Cooke

Producer – Sue Lander